A Class Act - Part 1a

This month, we're discussing how to be a class act. The first of our 7 guiding principles is being confident and authentic.


1. I am confident and authentic;

a. I will discover who I am, what makes me unique, and what I stand for

b. I will remember that life is not all about me

c. I will discover where I fit in the world/workplace/home/community and enjoy the journey


Confidence... it’s listed as one of the most attractive things we see in the opposite sex. It’s very sexy, and it’s very classy.

A confident man - one who is continually working on himself and is happy with who he is, right now, and knows he is only going to get better, no matter where he falls on the spectrum of things and other men - has no need to prove himself to anyone... but himself. A guy who tries too hard to get noticed just means he doesn’t really believe that he has what it takes (to meet whatever situation or challenge is before him). A confident man doesn’t have to resort to doing anything that might embarrass himself just to get attention. In fact, his confidence will give him that inner “calm, cool, and collected” mentality. It’s what helps keep him stay grounded, at peace, and actually puts him at an advantage over someone who has “lost it”.

To get to a good level of confidence you need to properly assess who you are, what makes you unique, and what you really stand for. It can start with the easy stuff. Do you like this or that food? Do you like this or that beverage? Is alcohol for you? Are you going to smoke? Those kinds of decisions come pretty easily. You can’t really help it if you hate orange. But you might come to at least like it if you’re in Tennessee where football is king! At least during the season.

Then you have to go a little deeper. This stuff is still pretty much external, but is motivated by inside stuff - like...What is your personal style? Are you dress up kind of guy? T-shirts and blue jeans kind of guy? Sometimes, your work will determine some of that. But what about when you go out with friends? Is your style western? Urban? Super casual. Whatever it is, and it can be mixed, stay true to it and any of the decisions you make about yourself. This doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind about something but when you decide to wear your western shirt and bolo for a night out with the guys, don’t let them make you feel bad if they don’t get into it. Don’t make them feel bad if they don’t like it like you do. Take the razzing but be confident about your decision. Personal style in your clothing choices and in the way you decorate your living and work spaces (or not) tend to be motivated either by convenience, or by a desire to be perceived in a certain way by others. As long as that’s true to who you are, that’s cool and it can be classy. Showing up to your sister’s wedding in your jeans and t-shirt will not be considered classy, no matter how much you say it’s your personal style. There’s a balance here. Remember, it’s not all about you! If you’re told to wear a jacket, just wear or borrow one that is “you”, but also fits the needs of the moment. That shows respect and THAT is classy.

Another thing that can really boost your confidence is discovering what makes you unique. Some people call this your personal brand. There IS only one you, but how are different from any other guy? Things that might make you unique would be the combination of attributes that you have, the talents you develop, and maybe the sense of humor that you have; your work ethic, your personal style, your dependability, etc. You get the point.

When I met my wife, I realized she was not like any other woman I’d ever met. The combination of what and who motivates her; her devotion those she cares about; her practicality and work ethic, the many talents she possesses and uses for herself (to make a living) and others, and so much more - I’d never seen so much good stuff wrapped in one person with personal convictions, great intelligence, an easy disposition, and an attractive appearance - that was attracted to and cared about ME. And that hasn’t changed in nearly 20 years. Because it’s her to the core. She’s authentic, and confident about who she is - and that’s very classy. So it wasn’t/isn’t one thing. It’s the combination. And that’s how it will be with you. Part of what will make up your unique you will be what you stand for. This will be an ongoing thing. That doesn’t mean that you think this way one week, and then that way another week. But it does mean that you have thought about the WHY you have decided on certain positions regarding your home, your family, your community, your workplace, and your personal convictions about politics and religion.

There’s a lot to stand for or against when it comes to politics and religion, so you need to think about, research, and talk with others you respect about these kinds of things, and then decide for yourself where you stand on different issues. You need to be able to carry on a conversation about these major topics - decide for yourself WHAT is important and where you stand on the issues. If you come across an issue you don’t know about - it’s no big deal. Ask questions, and learn. Then do your own research, so you can know where you stand. You can’t put your head in the sand about matters that affect your world the way politics and religion do. Know where you stand.

You’ve heard the quote and maybe even the Aaron Tippen song that states if a man doesn’t stand for something, he’ll fall for anything. Being well-read and researching a topic doesn’t mean you’ll never fall for anything or never be wrong. But at least you’ll have the confidence that at that time, with the knowledge you had, you were motivated by, and acted on what you thought was right for you and your family on that issue. If you missed it, make your adjustments, right any wrongs, and move on. That will keep your confidence strong, which will affect how you relate to the people and situations in your world. Stay classy!


More in the next post.

To read the previous post, click here:




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